Sunday, June 23, 2013


Over the years I've lost a few friends for based reasons.

The most common reason is that people just drift apart. This is a natural part of life, and there's not really much you can or should do about it. People move away, drift into different circles, or just don't have similar interests anymore. It's kind of sad in a way but completely normal.

Then I've lost a few friends in a more painful way, where it didn't end quite so well. These experiences are always the hardest, and sometimes somewhat unexplainable. People get upset, angry, or simply choose not to be friends.

This always bugs the crap outta me, and I don't always respond the way I should. Sometimes I have said things that have made the situation worse, same things I later regretted, or not saying things I should have.

There are times things can't be undone or unsaid. That being the case, I have determined with God's help 2 be the best friend I know how, fight for friendship, and leave the rest to God.

A true friend is always worth fighting for , even at risk of embarrassment, hurt pride, and awkward moments. Acquaintances are a dime a dozen, but a true friend is one in a million.

It's one thing to be kind and not hurt other people, that's something you should do your best no matter who you're around.

We're all human, we all mess up, we all hurt people, and sometimes we say into things we later regret. A true friend will forgive, even when it hurts. Jesus help me to be more like you.

1 comment:

Esther said...

You said when people drift apart, "there's not really much you can or should do about it."

I disagree.

When I miss people who have drifted away, there are some things I can do about it. Roxie, for instance, she has literally moved away and is in different circles, but I text her once a month of so, and while we rarely see each other in person we still share a friendship.

Other friends that are in different circles or just different places in life I put more or less effort into maintaining a friendship, (Some because I'm not as attached to them and some because they don't respond to my texts/ voicemails meaning they are probably busy and/or not as attached to me.) But when we bump into each other we are always friendly and happy to see each other. There is still a friendship, but to a lesser degree.

Still it's not like I feel I should necessarily fight for their friendships and kick butt to see them every week. Time is finite. If I spent all my time trying to stay best friends with everyone who was once one of my best friends I would have no time to eat and sleep and go to work. I would annoy the really busy people, and would definitely not have time for my boyfriend or have energy to spend befriending other people who might need friends, and who God might've put in my life so I could be there for them, (or so they can be there for me.)

I feel that way, only more so, about the (thankfully few) people who have unfriended me intentionally and/or are purposely unkind to me.

It's always important to be kind to people; To be a nice to them regardless of if they are friendly or not.

But it's a misconception to believe that everyone who was once our good friend will always be one, and that we should always fight to maintain that level of friendship.

There is a thing about people: God gave us/them a free will--the right to make choices for ourselves/ themselves.

Yes, we should be kind and Christ-like and forgiving. But we shouldn't waste too much time chasing friendships that have ceased to exist. Seek peace with them, but realize that they have a part in things also and we aren't responsable for if they choose to be a part of our lives or not.

Psalms 41:9 discusses how a man's close friend has turned against him, but the verses after aren't filled with chasing that (once) friend. Instead they are all about running after God.

God wants to put other people in our lives, and if we spend so much time fighting for (once) friends that aren't currently willing to be a part of our lives we will miss out on what God has for us in other places with other people.

Time is a finite commodity.